Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize