She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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