Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
