Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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