The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize