You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
