I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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