Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Less talking, more tequila
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
