Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
