i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
