Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
