you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
