my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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