epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
