Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
