I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Boobs are out for the taking
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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