you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
