Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
