I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
