Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
