false alarm. still invincible.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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