he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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