Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
