just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
