i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
