DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
