he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
