I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
