i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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