You're earring is so big in my mouth
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
