Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize