Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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