Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
