i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
