My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
