Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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