What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
