Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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