Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
