I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
