CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
