Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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