Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
