im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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