And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
