Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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