I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i out mim tonsoeep
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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