I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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