So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
