She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
