allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
