Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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