i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
