The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
