so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
