After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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