dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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