Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
