Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize