We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
