Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
