Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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