dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
