Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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