Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
