just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
love makes seman taste better
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My ass is underappreciated
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
