dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i came on her dog
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
