Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
