I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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