Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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