i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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